This is in no way a dig, a mockery, a poke fun of toward all the wine questions that are asked of me. Although, many of them are off the hook hilarious! I’m doing this because everyone should know we all have the same wine questions in mind. Unfortunately, we’re all afraid to suffer the awkward moment of “humiliation” when the wine snob nose goes in the air, looks down on you and lets out a condescending sigh. I’ve been there…nose in air and the “askee.” Therefore, think of this article as props to those who had the courage to ask a wine question, whether it was way out there, silly or very clever. They are fun, inquisitive and hilarious questions that I love. Remember, that no one on this planet knows EVERYTHING about wine. That is the best part…it never gets boring.
I have no qualms about making fun of myself. So, I’ll go first. Years ago while waiting tables I told people that Grappa was made out of crushes vines. One day, I ask a wine rep “how many vines do they have to crush to get all that juice out? It must be a ton.” The rep said, that sounds like an intriguing idea, but Grappa comes from grape pomace (Muscat mostly) where the juice actually is. I learned later that sometime the stalk gets in there. Suffice to say, I was really embarrassed, but I learned something new, which is the point. So, here is a small list of common questions that I love, appreciate and sometimes make me giggle inside and you should too.
“Why does the label say grape? Are they all grape flavored?” My response…well, technically, yes.
“I don’t like red wine. Can I get a Merlot?”
“Do you have a sweet red?” Um, no.
“Do you have any sulfite free wine?” Um, double no.
“How do they get those flavors into the wine?”
“What is a Viognier grape?”
“Do you make all this wine yourself?” Really?
“Do you drink the wine in the store?” Um, yes.
“Do they make wine in Colorado?”
“Do they grow grapes in Manitou?”
“What is the difference between Syrah and Shiraz?” Petit Sirah and Syrah?
“What is the difference between a screw cap and a cork?”
“What wine goes with lamb?” A lot of you love your lamb.
“Will it burn my tongue?” Asked after I said the wine was spicy.
“Do you have any forties?”
“What is tannin?”
“What do you mean by heavy bodied?”
“What is your favorite wine?”
And the winner is…“Does Organic mean Sulfite free?” And we will go there again in 2010 for sure. Oh, and NO.
Any of these questions look familiar and you never asked? Well, you should because an answer always follows a question and the fear of embarrassment should never hinder an opportunity to learn. I used to be afraid to ask wine questions because frankly, it’s very intimidating. Do you want to know what happened when I started to ask questions to the winos I was afraid of? They never knew the answer.
